Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Fab Sale Preview part 1

I've been working like a madwoman lately, in between photo shoots with Playmates (ok, only one out of the five gorgeous ladies was an actual Playmate, but she was Playmate of the Year so that counts like, double, right?) and hitting the Memorial Day flea markets hard* — oh and I've also been preparing for a Blue Carrot sale on

If you haven't heard of Fab and like awesome things then I suggest you check it out. Go there today, and then go back on June 18th when I have nearly 100 items for sale, most of which haven't been available in the shop before.

Until then, you can enjoy these sneak peek images today, and I'll be posting new items every few days until the sale launches.

*Only one of these things is actually related to me working on my Fab sale and the other is a shameless brag that I'll be sure to blog about later...

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Flower Fields

Ever since I saw the tulips in Central Park, and the cherry trees at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden (and the lilacs, the azaleas, the wisteria!), I've been a little flower obsessed. Which is weird, considering not only do I not have a green thumb, but I think I actually have two thumbs of death — at least according to the entire plant kingdom.

I saw a snapshot of the Carlsbad Flower Fields on a blog I read, and after consulting the great Googly, I decided that it's something that I absolutely have to see in my lifetime. The season is really short — this year's was May 1 - 13th — but totally worth the trip to see 50 acres of Giant Tecolote Ranunculus flowers. 

I don't even know what Giant Tecolote Ranunculus flowers are, but I know I want to go to there:

Maybe one day I'll even make it to Holland for the Tulip fields — don't these pictures just seem unreal? Are there any secret flower fields in Ohio (or closer than California or Holland) that I can go to right this minute?


Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Guess Who's Three!

Isn't she adorable when she's not stepping in my mouth, sneezing in my face and barfing on the couch? Seriously though, I sat in cat barf last night.

I'm pretty sure kids will be a breeze compared to this grey terror. Happy birthday, you beautiful, wonderful piece of shit.

Don't Fock with our Fux

I don't usually mention where I work very often, because I'm there (or here, depending on when you're reading this) every day, ya know? But it's a pretty amazing job and I feel incredibly lucky to be a part of such a crazy, creative and ridiculous group of designers. Oh and I also date one of the bosses, so I have to say nice things.

Every year we have an open house on, or around 4/27 (because we're 427 Design, and we're CLEVER) and every year they get more and more ridiculous. Try to imagine a creative staff of nine, told we can do whatever we want (with minor guidelines such as taste, and major ones like "within budget"), all trying to not only top each other, but other area agencies and mostly, our past selves.

Well, you don't have to imagine it, really, because I'm going to show you highlights from this year's Western-themed festivities...

The Normal

Screenprinted posters.

Hand-stamped burlap sacks containing a pack of candy cigs, rootbeer barrels and assorted buttons.

I baked mini "gold nugget" cupcakes.

The Odd

We brought our fox from home, and kindly (i.e. the barbed wire was fake) reminded our guests that he is not to be "focked" with.

I spent about 8 hours making these cut-out cookies — 2 of which were spent cursing the long horns and the teeny tiny buffalo feet for being ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE. Not that I'm mad about the disposal method of the rejects which is, you know, me eating them.

And of course, cow-pies.

The Ridiculous

We had a custom, real-deal branding iron made in the shape of our logo. Then, we branded cowhide, like, from an actual cow. Oh, and then we screen printed it and sent it out as an invitation. Only one of our clients had an allergic reaction (sorry about that).

Did I mention that there were costumes? Or that we had a mustachioed, bowler-wearing bartender? Or that my man spent three months growing his Doc Holiday mustache?

Next year's theme is Vegas (Lucky Number 7 — there we go again, being clever) and we've already begun planning — you're invited!

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Girls Who Wear Glasses

Remember when I said I was super excited to receive five pairs of glasses from Warby Parker to try on at home, on my actual face, for free? Well, I did that.

I would post all of the photos I took of myself, late at night, in my harshly lit bathroom, but I want you to continue reading this blog and I don't want Warby Parker to get angry at me for making their glasses look so damn sexy awful. It's not you Warby, it's me. Two of the pairs I was most excited about actually made me look like this:

Which only cemented the fact that when committing to eyewear, it really is best to try them on your physical head. Sorry technology, but those virtual try-ons made me think that these would actually fit my face, and not make me look like a special needs Iris Apfel.

As disappointed as I was that the enormous frames are just never going to look right on my pin head, I was pleasantly surprised that the other three frame choices (the ones I chose just because they make you pick five) fit my P.H. quite nicely.

My favorite was the Colton, which I know because I wrote down the names in an iPhone note because I'm old and knew I would forget by the time I decide to order them. Which won't be for a while, at least not until I get a new prescription, which won't be until I finish my current box of contacts, which won't be for a while, because I'm committed to expediting my eyeball death by wearing each 2-week pair for, oh, a while.

Until then, I retract my former promise to not show you the pictures of myself because I found two that don't look too bad. However, if anyone has any pointers on how I can not look like this while taking bathroom-mirror photos of myself, they would be greatly appreciated. And don't you dare tell me my 12-yr-old-boy baseball tee is the problem.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Springtime in New York, part 2

As much as I dream about one day being able to legitimately call myself a New Yorker, I've resigned myself that until I actually get mail to a city address for multiple (what is it, ten?!) years, I'm still a... tourist. It was really hard for me to type that, but we'll get through this post together.

During my recent three-day trip, I walked briskly, always wore my sunglasses, smiled sparingly and barely consulted a map in an effort to fool the locals into thinking that I was one of them. But then, I not only made it a point to visit, but also take pictures of:

Bethesda Fountain in Central Park, a must-see since the first time I ever visited the city — 14-yr-old me was equal parts mesmerized and creeped out by an American Indian slash rock violinist we stopped to watch, but it's the angel herself that keeps me coming back.

New Year's Ball. How's this for touristy: While walking though Times Square to get to anywhere else, I saw an advertisement on a trash can, beckoning me to come see the 100th anniversary ball, currently on display in the Times Square visitor's center and I actually did it.

Also: it's surprisingly tiny — I'll add it to my list of New York things that I've found to be smaller in real life than they look tv, including the Statue of Liberty, Rosie O'Donnell's old studio and Meryl Streep.

Shake Shack. We waited in a line longer than most people in Ohio could even comprehend, for burgers and fries that were average at best — especially when I live within a mile of a Swenson's. But I got to take a picture and let everyone know I was here, and as a tourist that's all that really matters, right?

Skyline views. While the Brooklyn Heights Promenade may not be as touristy as, maybe, a cruise around lower Manhattan, the spectacular views are quite similar. And I still take the same exact photo every time I come here, because until this is the daily view out of my bedroom window, mama needs a new desktop background.

The Brooklyn Bridge. It's my favorite bridge, and I've got the photographs to prove it. In between clogging up my Instagram feed (SHAMELESS PLUG: oh, hey, I'm BlueCarrotShop on there) with photos of this beauty, I took a nap in the park right underneath. So, sometimes I'm more homeless than tourist — is that further or closer to being an actual New Yorker? Can you spare a dime or a quarter?*

*I passed a guy over multiple days asking for a dime or a quarter — can't fault a brotha for trying.